Okay, so here I am in Stockbridge, after a 30 minute long police inquiry. Why, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. It all started when a very nice new minivan pulled out in front of me. I was going slow, so it was okay. I went for about 3 miles or so behind this woman and her 5-6 year old girl. I know she was 5 or 6 because her little head kept popping up and down in the seat, looking at me. She even waved a few times when I did. So anyway, I’m watching to road, and it looks like there’s a stop light up ahead, on red, but the woman isn’t stopping. Too late, I realize that her brake lights are all out and that she IS stopping. I slam on my brakes and turn the wheel hard to my right, but I still just barley tap her bumper as I go by. She boils out of the driver’s side door of her minivan, terrified that her new car is scratched (it isn’t). Then she rounds on me

Her: What the hell did you think you were doing?”
Me: (calmly) Your brake lights are out.
Her: (nonchalantly) Oh, they told me it’d be $8 a light to replace them. I’m not paying that.
Me: (snapping and yelling) YOU STUPID SHIT! I’m driving a four ton hunk of steel and your little girl’s not wearing a seatbelt! I could have killed her, all because you didn’t want to fork over $16 to get the light bulbs replaced?
Her: (looking angry) I think we should call the police.
Me: (knowing full well what would happen) Certainly.

So we pull over into the gas station nearby and wait on the cops to show up. He arrives surprisingly fast, and interviews us separately, her first, me second.

Police: What happened Ma’am?
Me: Her brake lights are out, and I didn’t realize she was stopping until too late.
Woman: (from 10 feet away) And she said curse words in front of my precious little girl!
Me: (screeching back at her) Your precious little girl that’s not worth a set of light bulbs!
Police: (laying as restraining hand on my shoulder as if I might go kick her ass) Calm down Ma’am.
Me: (to Policeman) I could have killed that little girl, and she says $8 to get her lights replaced is too much!

After testing the car to make sure that yes, indeed, the lights do not work and buckling the little girl the Policeman goes back to his car to run my insurance and shit. He comes back, whips out his ticket writing book and looks at me. I’m thinking “Great. I’m dead.” He says “she’s a nutcase, and you probably just saved that little girl’s life.” He grins and begins to write in the ticket book, and it’s not my name. “Now, get the hell out of here.”