John and I are sitting on the couch. I have my laptop in my lap, which requires me to stretch out my feet. The couch isn’t long enough for me to do this without putting my feet in his lap as well.

John: (begins rubbing my feet, stops to play with the roughest part)
Me: (attempts to move my toes away, he hangs on) “Is that really necessary?”
John: “What?”
Me: “You’re playing with the roughest part of my feet. It’s embarrassing.”
John: “Huh?”
Me: “A woman’s feet are supposed to be as nice and delicate as the rest of her.”
John: “But you have the feet of a working woman.”
Me: “It’s still embarrassing, pointing out my flaws. It’s like someone messing in my armpits. Gross.”
John: “…”
Me: “…”
John: (poke) “Your toes are hairy.”