At work, I deal with rude customers, people who want this package there by the end of today, or people who are convinced that a woman couldn’t possibly do a decent job of packing that box. I spend the day on my feet, or bending over a lot to pick up things. By the time I get home, my feet ache, my back is sore, and all I want to do is sit down for a while and relax. ::sigh:: But no. I come home and my cat has shit on the floor again (she’s been declawed and hates the feel of cat litter on her paws), I have dirty dishes to do in the sink and bathtub (it’s easier to do them in the tub because my sink is so tiny) and a computer that doesn’t do what I need it to because I haven’t fucked with it enough. My scanner doesn’t work because it’s not supported, my mouse doesn’t have cut and paste and no one knows why, several programs don’t work or are missing, and I can’t run any Windows programs (opencanvas, Photoshop, etc…) because WINE doesn’t work. For some reason, I keep this OS that doesn’t do the things I need it to because Larry wants me to. I enjoys playing on the computer, but I really hate having to fix the things that I want to use before I use them. I haven’t touched my new tablet because Linux doesn’t see it yet. If I’d been running Win2k, I’d have plugged it in and it would have worked, no problem. My scanner and cdwriter work in Windows. Hell, I know how to USE windows. I don’t like the OS, but compatibility is a wonderful thing. I have a game Larry gave me that I’ve never played because it didn’t run on 2k before the patch was out. The patch came out right as I installed Linux, which won’t run it either. I’m tired of it. I talked to Megan last night, complaining about what doesn’t work yet and how I can’t fix anything because I don’t know how. She looked me in the eye and said “Then why are you still running it? I know how important your computer is to you. Why are you using something that doesn’t work?” Why indeed… So Larry and I will have something to talk about, that’s why. Linux is a safe topic of conversation. I beat my head on it to the point of tears, so he and I can fix it together. I can’t talk to him about anything else because it depresses him and me both. I know I don’t know all of how he feels, and I don’t ask most of the time.. It makes me feel guilty. I feel like shit for causing that much pain in someone and not being able to take it away. There’s got to be something two friends of so long can talk about that doesn’t cause me so much frustration. Just because I don’t want to run Linux anymore doesn’t mean that I don’t want to talk to him, or that I’m giving up on the friendship… Just that I’m tired of it. I’ve tried it and I still don’t like it. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?
