Every time I do a NILMDTS session and the photo gets used as a 365 photo, I get a bunch of comments on flickr about how amazing it is that I do this and how hard it must be on me. I do feel that anyone who does these sessions does have to be a strong and giving person, but I don’t really understand why doing them would have to so hard that someone couldn’t do them unless they’d lost a child themselves.
The babies don’t make me sad at all. Yes, it’s the loss of a life, yes it’s the loss of something beautiful, but the baby’s at peace. They’re gone, not suffering or hurting or worried. All that’s there is a body. It’s the families that make me cry. The sobbing daddies that come in to kiss their sons, the mothers that don’t want to let the baby go. I know I can’t imagine what they’re going through, but their pain is so close and so easy to see that it’s hard for me not to cry when I’m seeing them. I can’t dwell on it though, because it won’t help them. I can whisper “I’m sorry.”, shed a few tears in the car, give them photos and wish them peace, but that’s really all.
I know I’m insanely sensitive in a lot of ways, but every time someone says “Oh wow, I could never do those.”, I start to wonder if I’m a cold person.