I got my first BRIDES magazine in the mail the other day. I certainly didn’t sign up for such a thing, so either some place I’ve signed up for has sold my information or someone signed me up. The magazine is a marked percentage of a very few articles to a huge number of ads. The articles are mostly useless fluff from “Gorgeous wedding day hair!” to “99 colorful ways to personalize your day.” They’re only there to sell the ads, really.
The ads take up about 85% of the 100+ page magazine. The vast majority of the ads feature full page photos of a dress on a very angular, unhappy bride. Or maybe a vampire bride. Who poses like this? Just one ad for tuxedos and just one ad for plus size brides. These ads spout phrases like “Every bride deserves to wear white.” or “Your proposal is the most intimate conversation you’ll ever have.” Macy’s registry claims “.. we help you create your happily ever after.” while Crate&Barrel’s registry touts “Your life together starts here.” One ring designer states that “Gold makes it a marriage.” while another says that when you buy their diamonds “The dream is complete.” Another ad states “Pure elegance for the most memorable moment of your life.” while Alfred Angelo bridal says that they have “Everything you need for the most important day of your life.” and “It’s your perfect party!” but Wtoo claims “It’s your day to blow the world away.” Even one resort states “That’s why everything.. … has to be nothing short of perfect.”
No wonder there are so many divorces in America if these ads are targeting the majority of American women. Your wedding is the most important day of your life? Well, damn, what do I have to look forward to afterwards then? My happily ever after can be put on a registry? Whoops, guess I’m out of the loop. Gold makes it a marriage? What if I don’t LIKE gold or diamonds? Oh and let’s not forget that the wedding day has to be ‘nothing short of perfect’, shall we? If the slightest thing goes wrong, obviously you fail at life.
Makeup, hair, rings, dresses, registries, cakes, purses, jewelry, etc. Not one thing in this whole magazine talks about anything having to do with how a MARRIAGE works. No tips on communication, nothing about how to keep date nights alive after kids, no notes on accepting each other’s differences and opinions and no ideas for how to respect each other for the rest of your lives. WTH?
