Great big ones
Me: (loading the dishwasher) Hey honey, I think we need to get some bigger bowls. Every time we want to have soup, it doesn't fit into a small bowl, so…
Uh huh.
Me: "I like penguins. They' so cute walking with their wings all out." John: "Yep.. it's like watching a man run with his pants down."
Mmmm….
John: I need to do laundry today.. badly. Heather: Oh yeah? John: I need to wash my gi. It smells like ball sweat. (leaves room) Heather: ... John: (talking from…
Smells just as sweet…
John came home with a rose for me. "Is there a date I forgot about?" "No, no reason, just because I could." "Oh! Well, thank you!!" .... "Did you do…
Groceries
I walked into the kitchen today and found this. John strikes again.
Gas baby
Heather: Uhg, I should NOT have had that pizza. It's not happy in my belly at all. John: I'm sorry. :( Heather: I mean, ick. Look at this. I have…
KoB
John: Sometimes, you fart at night and just blow the covers right off. The cat looks at me like I'd killed her babies. Heather: That's so not true! You need…
Oh. Emm. Gee.
John and I are sitting on the couch. I have my laptop in my lap, which requires me to stretch out my feet. The couch isn't long enough for me…
Oh, the wang-manity!
(Have been talking about silly names for girl-bits, like vagoo, vageener or other totally wrong names I refuse to ever use or acknowledge.) Heather: I could start calling your bits…
ROFL
Me: Uhg. I know I'm getting sick. John: Yeah? How? Me: My head feels hot... and heavy.. John: Like the bologna of summer. Me: ...
From this morning
John and I, laying in bed, talking about some new medication. Me: "So, what are the side effects again?" John: "Irritability, insomnia and diarrhea." Me: "Right, so if --" John,…
Grammar
A conversation today, talking about grammar. John: Hey baby, you have a great butt! *pinch* Me: Is tha an observation or a punctuation? John: I could punctuate you later.. *wink*…